Info Experience System

Discussion in 'One Piece Role Play' started by Larsi, Mar 6, 2018.

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  1. Dragomir

    Dragomir

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    @Fire Tiger
    Personality: 7
    Story Progression: 10
    Combat Prowess: 5
    Description: 13
    Enjoyability: 10

    Score: 2197

    Post count: 9
    Bro, that intro to the story was clean. Great way to give an image into the reader's mind what's going on. You told us what you were doing, the scenery, and the purpose of you being there. Kilij Dao Odachi sat on the rooftop of the clocktower in the middle of town with a whetstone sharpening his shamshir sword. The way the setting sun shined on the edge of the blade gave the scene a sinister feel. Just clean!

    Although I did like how you set the scenery, it got a bit redundant with you saying "he could see". Could have spiced it a little more in showing us readers what was happening. It was still good though. Just a nitpick here.

    Ok, in your second post here, you blew an opportunity to get more personality here. But do I abandon the plan for this slim chance? When you said this, you could have done a back and forth in your mind stressing about whether or not stick with the original plan or take a stab at the new opportunity. You could have gotten a few more points on personality for that, but at least you did the decision to take the chance and attack. That progressed the story.

    Another case here where you could have added more personality. When Kilij saw that he screwed up, you could have said something about him getting scared or nervous for a second. Sweat dripping down his face seeing that his first attempt failed and he lost the surprise advantage. Get what I'm saying?

    @iNFERNAL
    Personality: 5
    Story Progression: 9
    Combat Prowess: 6
    Description: 10
    Enjoyability: 10

    Score: 1685

    Post count: 8
    You were good with your description of the scenery. Though, I would have liked it better if you explained what's going on right at the start alongside this post, The place was filled with ordinary people who wanted to take a break from the everyday hustle and bustle of duties instead of the second paragraph, but that's just a nitpick of mine, won't dock you for it.

    I believe you could have said something more about your job. For instance, Sitting alone and waiting for his job to start any minute now. Transporting a prisoner from point A to B(also believe you could have described what locations those points were, like from the market to the prison). Such a simple job. Though, it was getting dark. The sun was setting, creepy things always happen in the dark. Infernal tried to stay calm and collected, but he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in him. Imo, that would have given you more personality.

    This part of your second post felt bland to me When Infernal was crossing north bridge near to the center of city, suddenly he saw shadow that was close to him. Infernal try to dodge and barely made it. You could have added more on your character thinking about this shadow. For example, Huh? Infernal frowned when he saw the shadow, is someone behind me? Infernal thought. See what I mean?
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2019
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  2. Frayz

    Frayz

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    @Ziosa
    Score: 1060 (non canon)

    Personality: 14 - you do a good job of showing how Jade cares about others and purposely goes out of her way to make them feel better.

    Story Progression: 12 - being a bit lenient because I saw potential of a great story of Thresher learning his place within the Revolutionary Army but it wasn't finished unfortunately.

    Combat Prowess: 0 - no fighting.

    Description: 14 - description is good but nothing particularly stood out.

    Enjoyable: 11 - nothing I really disliked, just would of been more enjoyable if it was finished.

    Post Count: 4
    Rule Breaks: 0

    @SageDGod
    Score: 774 (non canon)

    Personality: 11
    Story Progression: 12
    Combat Prowess: 0
    Description: 14
    Enjoyable: 10

    Post Count: 3
    Rule Breaks: 0
     
  3. Xatch

    Xatch

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    Character/Host
    @NeoRetro
    Noncanon EXP Score: 2136
    Player Scores
    Personality 1-25- 16
    Story Progression 1-25- 17
    Combat Prowess1-25- 4
    Descriptions 1-25- 15
    Enjoyable 1-25- 17
    Post Count 5
    Rulebreaks (0-10) 0

    Most of my scoring is based off the fact that you had a really strong start but ended right as things started getting going. I like the story you were attempting to create, and loved how as a host you did bend to the others misplays best you could, while remaining true to your story.

    Character/Host
    @Fanboy sins
    Noncanon EXP Score: 2173
    Player Scores
    Personality 1-25- 16
    Story Progression 1-25- 14
    Combat Prowess1-25- 1
    Descriptions 1-25- 14
    Enjoyable 1-25- 16
    Post Count 6
    Rulebreaks (0-10) 0

    I absolutely love your style and sense of humor, however as a host it seemed like you were just trying to end this abruptly. rather than continue or even acknowledge the story the previous host established, you just took the one main character and ran with it... literally lol... Ice killed a few randoms, but what happened to Pavlo etc... also while it was humorous, giving up the islands bounty without a fight, it was really anticlimactic and didn't help the participants to get much XP or showcase their abilities, by having Gyro accidentally suicide.

    Character
    @IceTimeXI
    Canon EXP Score: 5032
    Player Scores
    Personality 1-25- 14
    Story Progression 1-25- 10
    Combat Prowess1-25- 8
    Descriptions 1-25- 8
    Enjoyable 1-25- 8
    Post Count 13
    Rulebreaks (0-10) 1


    What can I say that you haven't been told before... (as for your rule break you made some auto assumptions and created locations inconsistencies to suit your situation/gained information you shouldn't have been able to have) also several of your posts are just 4-5 lines of waiting/inaction. Your few moments of combat are just auto hitting fodders or missing, also when working with others you should establish ideas and things in a separate chat rather than in the RP, as you guys argued and clashed ideas it just wasn't easy to read.

    Character
    @Luffy.
    Canon EXP Score: 6909
    Player Scores
    Personality 1-25- 16
    Story Progression 1-25- 14
    Combat Prowess1-25- 10
    Descriptions 1-25- 11
    Enjoyable 1-25- 10
    Post Count 13
    Rulebreaks (0-10) 1

    you actually had 2-3 rule breaks, but I cut you some slack. 1. you need to post your stats in the first post, but you included right as combat started. 2. (and the one I counted) you auto controlled your opponent/made story assumptions more than once. (creating guards that didn't exist, talking too ice on a den den mushi he didn't have, reconstructing landscapes to suit your story etc..) you also need to describe your attacks rather than just copy paste the descriptions. Like I said to Ice, you also need to discuss things beforehand with your partner in a different chat to work out where or what your doing with your story, rather than argue within the story.
     
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  4. joby

    joby a giant woman Wanted

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    @CAPTAIN KHAN
    Personality: 15
    Story Progression: 10
    Combat Prowess: 17
    Descriptions: 18
    Enjoyable: 19
    Post Count: 4
    Rulebreaks: 0
    Non-Canon EXP Score: 1950

    @NeoRetro
    Personality: 20
    Story Progression: 11
    Combat Prowess: 17
    Descriptions: 17
    Enjoyable: 19
    Post Count: 4
    Rulebreaks: 0
    Non-Canon EXP Score: 2241

    @Dango
    Personality: 16
    Story Progression: 12
    Combat Prowess: 15
    Descriptions: 16
    Enjoyable: 16
    Post Count: 4
    Rulebreaks: 0
    Non-Canon EXP Score: 1915

    Neo and Khan, Dango had kinda set up this thing with the ball mechanism that transported him into the arena, and it seemed like a missed opportunity that neither of you riffed off of that for continuity’s sake. Dango, while I was able to figure out what you were describing with the glass ball/escape pod thing that takes you to the coliseum, the description was clumsy at this part and you could have scored higher if you had taken some more time to nail that part down.

    Dango, your second post attack Shark Bite didn’t have a technique description listed and you didn’t declare a target/as much sensory detail as you could have to make the attack more exciting.

    Neo, your counter was really clearly described and I felt like you did your due diligence in giving your opponent a concise understanding of what you were wanting them to respond to, but again, same as Dango, the enjoyability of reading this would be greatly improved if you included some more sensory or lyrical information. Your situational/narrative detail and enjoyability is EXCELLENT. Your introductory post really set a tone of your character.

    Khan, it needs to be noted that Neo’s movement speed is 3 tiers above your reaction. You should barely be able to see a blur when he dashes forward to intercept and attack Dango. The way you described launching your air slash technique in this instance overplayed your stats. I think you could have still done what you did, but you did not describe how you arrived there in a way that reflected how difficult it would have been for your character to actually do so.

    Neo, you created a confusing situation with your “Let Me Take Your Head” attack. It was unclear if this was an ittoryu custom technique or a rokushiki one. The technique requires 61 mastery (in what?) while you only had 22 ittoryu mastery. But the technique also utilizes soru in the description so I assumed that this was a custom rokushiki move. Khan did not though and it was understandable why. You also did not describe Dango’s arrow hitting you. Doesn’t matter if it is nothing to you stat-wise, would have been good for you describe it ricochetting off your arm or like, grabbing it and stabbing yourself in the arm with it or something—anything!!

    Khan, your final post was a pretty good death post. Also the detail that you used in describing how Neo’s attacks physically and mentally effected you, was really great. Its kind of a pet-peeve when RPing with someone who doesn’t take damage with creative grace. Not only was your attention to that kind of detail fun to read, but it is also really courteous to the people you are RPing with I think.

    Neo you coulda gone easier on them lol.
     
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2019
  5. Fanboy sins

    Fanboy sins

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    @Krogothwolf
    Personality 16
    Story Progression 15
    Combat Prowess 14
    Descriptions 15
    Enjoyable 13
    Post Count 7
    Noncanon EXP Score: 3229.

    @Stealth Black Sanji
    Personality 16
    Story Progression 19
    Combat Prowess 14
    Descriptions 17
    Enjoyable 13
    Post Count 8
    Noncanon EXP Score: 4115

    @Char Aznable
    Personality 18
    Story Progression 9
    Combat Prowess 3
    Descriptions 15
    Enjoyable 13
    Post Count 5

    Noncanon EXP Score: 1694


    MEME REVIEW: CLAP CLAP... Well ...This was really average battleground. It had great potential in the beginning , but unfortunately died down.

    Sanji managed to create setting and starting atmosphere ,that was your strongest part (and that thing gives you advantage). However second half with your and krogothwolf s fight was rather lackluster. I know lvl 10 doesn't give lots of options , but dont abandon weapons in favor of wrestling ... Use environment too.

    I dont know what to say about you char , you were all alone. Could have included yourself faster . But you posted less for some reason.

    I know you three can do way better, Just need better motivation, Plot progression and battle choreography . It's up to you but some comedy in mix is noce too. This is one piece after all.
     
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  6. Xatch

    Xatch

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    @Dabit
    Player Scores
    Personality- 16
    Story Progression- 15
    Combat Prowess- 12
    Descriptions- 15
    Enjoyable-16
    Post Count- 17
    Rulebreaks (0-10) 0
    Noncanon EXP Score: 7991

    The negatives- why your combat was low, you and Luffy. did most of the fighting against yourself with NPC's made up on the spot. Its ok to Do once or twice but most of this story was driven by unlisted enemies and just random spur of the moment events. Also you should list all of your equipment in the beginning (the dials, and sword). I also believe you cut the battle short and underplayed your stats a bit.

    The Good- Your parts were fun to read and had good personality, The laughing, rapping, it was enjoyable. You also did a good job of continuing the story when your opponent just posted about themselves at times, and you at least made up stats for one NPC.

    @Luffy.
    Player Scores
    Personality- 14
    Story Progression- 13
    Combat Prowess- 11
    Descriptions- 15
    Enjoyable- 15
    Post Count- 17
    Rulebreaks (0-10) 0
    Noncanon EXP Score: 7122
    The Bad- Your Combat score was low because you and Dabit did most of your battling by yourselves with NPC's that were made up on the spot to suit the thin story, you also basically completely ignored an attack from Dabit that was going to pierce both of you with a simple it was countered response. Several of your posts didn't include any opportunity for your opponent to add, thus the story progression suffered. I think you cut things short and under played your stats a bit as well.

    The Good- You do a decent job navigating multiple people conversations, and you created a pretty unique scenario on the spot. in the 2-3 posts you and your opponent actually fought you did a good job/showed promise, just cut it really short.
     
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  7. Larsi

    Larsi

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    @Stealth Black Sanji
    Personality: 16
    Story Progression: 16
    Combat Prowess: 16
    Descriptions: 17
    Enjoyable: 17
    Post Count: 37
    Rulebreaks: 0
    EXP: 20047
    Personality, story and mood were pretty good. Descriptions too, though i think you should try to variate more, as i felt you were reusing descriptions a few times.

    It would have been more enjoyable had it not been so stretched out. It felt like you were just extending it gor the sake of it. Almost took the entire first page to even meet.

    Lastly, you need to describe your attacks better at times, instead of relying on pics or pasted descriptions

    @Guan_Yu
    Personality: 16
    Story Progression: 16
    Combat Prowess: 14
    Descriptions: 13
    Enjoyable: 12
    Post Count: 37
    Rulebreaks: 26
    EXP: 9035
     
  8. Larsi

    Larsi

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  9. Dragomir

    Dragomir

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    Name of fighters : @Luna <3> and @joby
    https://orojackson.com/threads/masquerade-round-1-bg-8.57735/
    Link to end of fight: https://orojackson.com/threads/masquerade-round-1-bg-8.57735/#post-3722340
    Extra info: Masquerade Event Battle

    @Luna <3
    Personality: 14
    Story Progression: 17
    Combat Prowess: 18
    Descriptions: 16
    Enjoyable: 17


    Post Count: 6

    Score: 3250

    "He tried to stand up but felt weak in the knees because he couldn't remember who he was." Wait what? Why would you feel weak because you can't remember who you are. That doesn't make sense.

    You know, I think it would have been great if you had tried to eat your clothes as they smelled like blood. Would have given more personality if executed correctly also, with eating the raw chicken, it was rather bland in how you expressed your feelings toward it. You said "Wow Great", sure that's nice but you could added how you acted when you saw it, like licking your lips, eyes widening, hands twitching in a grasping manner etc. And when you disliked the meat, show visual disgust as in spitting it out, groaning, squinting your eyes and basically your entire face from the nasty thing in your mouth(yes, ppl do that in RL). Would have also given you more personality imo.

    In your second post, when you were disappointed to find another room, SHOW IT, don't just tell it. Groan, throw fists in the air, make an exasperated sigh etc. Though I would have wished for more showing of how your character wants blood, almost cutting yourself is pretty solid imo but the way you brought it up was kinda poor.

    Ok ok, getting straight to the point. Progressing the story nicely in the 3rd post. I like it.

    "He dashed towards her with the knife once again with the intent to kill her and tried to attack all her vital points with a good number of swings.."

    Instead of a bunch of generic and boring wild swings, go for something more creative. Like tricking your opponent, doing feints. You saw that she was strong and hard to handle. Need to spice it up.


    [​IMG]

    @joby
    Personality: 20
    Story Progression: 16
    Combat Prowess: 17
    Descriptions: 19
    Enjoyable: 25


    Post Count: 8

    Score: 5498

    Really liked your opening post and how you set up your character not being human.

    "She felt so incredibly cold--like ice was running through her veins--and empty. Spreading the skin of her face with her fingers, it almost looked transparent to her. As her hands made their way down to her neck, she stopped."

    Damn, this line is clean af.

    "There was no pulse."

    [​IMG]

    Damn, that suspense though fam. My only problem with the last part of your post was the nani. Kinda ruined the mood for me.

    Second post had me like: :wipesweat:

    I like how you had a different motive behind attacking than generic "lemme get that blood fam" at least for your 3rd post.

    :wipesweat:

    "USELESS! USELESS! USELESS! USELESS!"
    Should have said "MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA" instead.

    Yo my dude, your RPing gave me Dio vibes.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2019
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  10. Cpt.

    Cpt.

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    Kilij @Fire Tiger vs. Yamamoto @Guan_Yu
    ----------
    Kilij
    Personality: 16

    Story Progression: 18

    Combat Prowess: 0

    Descriptions: 17

    Enjoyable: 17


    Post Count: 15

    Rule Breaks: 0
    @Fire Tiger Score: 6284 (noncanon)

    I felt that some of your writing was a bit disjunctive. Rather than taking a full paragraph to describe the whole setting a lit bit in each part and then take a paragraph to think, I think it would be better to sprinkle in some character thought in between the description. Especially on your first post when you are talking about listening to footsteps. That could have been taken as a nice opportunity to expand upon the uniqueness of your mink character's ability and also go a bit further into detail on what your character heard. Another thing would be to describe how your character eats and what he thinks of the taste.

    On your second post you did much better integrating your character, but it felt as through you rushed through the scenes. I would have liked to see a bit more detail such as the dance or still more of how the smell effects Kilij or how he walks.

    Your forth post was good story and background building, but had no character thought at all. Talking about Kilij's history could have elicited some type of emotion in him to get the reader to understand your character better.

    Your 5th post was much better pertaining to some of the above criticisms.

    Last thing to note is although the two of you got a good way into the second page of the thread there was no combat... The story itself was very enjoyable but perhaps you both dragged on meeting one another.

    Yamamoto
    Personality: 15

    Story Progression: 16

    Combat Prowess: 0

    Descriptions: 20


    Enjoyable: 14

    Post Count: 14


    Rule Breaks: 4
    @Guan_Yu Score: 5070 (noncanon)

    If you ever come back ill just add a small comment. You had very good detail, but lacked character for the majority of this thread. Took a while for your character to interact with the vast setting you were painting here.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2019
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  11. Fanboy sins

    Fanboy sins

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    @CAPTAIN KHAN vs @Guan_Yu

    Khan
    Personality 20
    Story Progression 18
    Combat Prowess 15
    Description 21
    Enjoyable 16
    Post Count 30

    Noncanon EXP Score: 18530

    Feedback : Well hello there Captain. By the scores you can probably see that Personality and Descriptions were your strong points. So I'will skip those thing..

    -Story progression:You began plot with somewhat with potential ,however for some reason Guan really took his time . Unfortunately it affected early part of the story. And you fighting NPC guards for 10 posts really isn't something battleground is for ..

    -Combat Prowess: This was really average ... Good thing is , you really understand fighting mechanics , however Battle was repetitive Attack....Block....Counter...Attack..Block...Counter..
    Use environment , or some creative decisions . You and Guan both could have given each other more room to do that...

    Enjoyable: Pretty average story with pacing issues and lack of creativity ...However standalone posts and Characters are really good . You both have tools to be great players




    Guan
    Personality 20
    Story Progression 14
    Combat Prowess 15
    Descriptions 21
    Enjoyable 16
    Post Count 29
    Rulebreaks (0-10) 20

    Noncanon EXP Score: 11669

    Feedback : Hello, my friend! If you seek knowledge about mighty Talos, you have most certainly come to the right person. In mortal life, Talos was a Nord possessed of unmatched tactical skill, limitless wisdom and the power to see into men's hearts. Talos mastered the power of the Voice, and with it he united the lands of men into a great Empire. In southern lands, he was known by the name Tiber Septim. Here in Skyrim, we honor him by his proper Nord name. So great was his reign in life, when he ascended to the heavens he was made lord of the Divines. If you want to know more, I'm sure you can find any number of tomes on the subject (AKA: I'll edit feedback when you come back)
     
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  12. Larsi

    Larsi

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  13. Ziosa

    Ziosa Big Mom

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    @Smileyman
    Personality: 15
    Story Progression: 14
    Combat Prowess: 16
    Descriptions: 14
    Enjoyable: 15
    Post Count: 15
    Rule Breaks: 1
    Feedback: Your posts were super short at the start and was only a good length in some of them, you should try and paint a picture of what your character looks like; what they feel at the start etc. Larsi also had to remind you to post your stats so that's a rulebreak. The personality and combat prowess of your character was good but nothing amazing, you did react accordingly and used your stats fine though. Descriptions was quite lacking and the story was fairly basic but fit the fight fine.
    Total Exp Awarded: 6921

    @Larsi
    Personality: 15
    Story Progression: 14
    Combat Prowess: 16
    Descriptions: 15
    Enjoyable: 15
    Post Count: 15
    Rule Breaks: 0
    Feedback: quite short posts sometimes, also could have tried to describe your character and surroundings a bit more. Combat, story and personality was all good but not amazing, might have been better if smiley was nearer your level so you could have an actual fight.
    Total Exp Awarded: 7182
     
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  14. Roogy

    Roogy

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    @NeoRetro
    Personality: 15
    Personality was interesting, shone through in your conflict with your opponent.

    Story Progression: 11
    Due to being unfinished, feels like there could have been more to it.

    Combat Prowess: 14
    Good use of abilities, including rokushiki and haki.

    Descriptions: 15
    Good descriptions.

    Enjoyable: 11
    Pacing changed throughout, story was unfinished, but was enjoyable for what it was.

    Post Count: 9
    EXP: 3621

    @Dragomir
    Personality: 15
    Personality was interesting, shone through in your conflict with your opponent.

    Story Progression: 11
    Due to being unfinished, feels like there could have been more to it.

    Combat Prowess: 10
    Dodging was well-described, but named attacks could have been described better.

    Descriptions: 15
    Good descriptions.

    Enjoyable: 11
    Pacing changed throughout, story was unfinished, but was enjoyable for what it was.

    Post Count: 8
    EXP: 2960
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2019
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  15. Luffy.

    Luffy. Smoothie

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    Last edited: Apr 22, 2019 at 4:01 PM
  16. Larsi

    Larsi

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    @Fire Tiger
    Personality: 10
    Story Progression: 8
    Combat Prowess: 0
    Descriptions: 10
    Enjoyable: 10
    Post count: 3
    EXP: 593


    @Dr_Ali
    Personality: 8
    Story Progression: 8
    Combat Prowess: 0
    Descriptions: 8
    Enjoyable: 9
    Post count: 3
    EXP: 499


    @NARDsSs
    Personality: 10
    Story Progression: 7
    Combat Prowess: 0
    Descriptions: 8
    Enjoyable: 8
    Post count: 2
    EXP: 333


    Not really anything to say. Didnt get started
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2019
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  17. Larsi

    Larsi

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  18. God_Maggi

    God_Maggi

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  19. Larsi

    Larsi

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    Alabasta:
    Players:
    @Larsi 24 canon posts +11 non-canon posts
    @Dragomir 20 canon posts + 4 non-canon posts
    @Guan_Yu 17 canon posts +8 non-canon posts
    @Ruffles 15 canon posts +9 non-canon posts
    @Bowser Jr. 16 posts
    @Krogothwolf 9 posts
    @Char Aznable 9 posts
    @Stealth Black Sanji 10 posts
    @Dango 2 posts
    @Don Raijin 2 posts
    @Hisoka 1 post
    @Name 1 post
    Strawhatter, but he doesn't even have an account anymore.
    Hosts:
    @Capt_NakedPanda 28 posts
    @Smileyman 30 posts
    @joby 17 posts
    Starts at: https://orojackson.com/threads/kingdom-of-alabasta.48992/#post-3320454
    Ends at: https://orojackson.com/threads/kingdom-of-alabasta.48992/page-10#post-3997793
    Extra comments: Canon. Anyone with 3 or more posts also are eligble for +10% EXP
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
  20. Dabit

    Dabit

    Messages:
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    Trophy Points:
    13,200
    Bounty Points:
    18,300
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2019
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