Info Experience System

Discussion in 'One Piece Role Play' started by Larsi, Mar 6, 2018.

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  1. Cpt.

    Cpt.

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    Vulpes @Tartan Owl vs. Weil @Fanboy sins Review by @Cpt.
    ---------------------
    Vulpes
    Personality: 20
    -I liked how you contrasted the difference between the revo's fake persona and inner mind, sometimes it felt as though her thoughts were just used for story progression tho
    -You did a great job with your own personality
    -the body language was used wonderfully
    Story Progression: 18
    -good set up, and good pacing of the story.
    Combat Prowess: 0
    -no combat
    Description: 18
    -I would have liked it if you described the setting more, but the character descriptions were quite good
    Enjoyable: 19
    -dang this would have been a really great one to finish :(

    Post Count: 4
    Rule Breaks: 0
    @Tartan Owl Score: 1915

    Weil
    Personality: 20
    -really good character voice in his thoughts! if you added a touch of body language it would help increase score
    Story Progression: 18
    -funny setup to the daily life of a Weil and good way to progress with the NPC
    Combat Prowess: 0
    -no combat
    Description: 14
    -your descriptions were a bit minimalist, I would have liked to see more describing the interesting setting you came up with
    Enjoyable: 21
    -thoroughly enjoyable, but I would have liked to see a bit more writing per post
    -plus 1 point for "whale scale"

    Post Count: 4
    Rule Breaks: 0
    @Fanboy sins Score: 1845
     
  2. Fanboy sins

    Fanboy sins

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    Vulpes @Tartan Owl VS Jade @Ziosa review by @Fanboy sins

    Vulpes
    Personality:-20

    Story Progression:-8

    Combat Prowess:-0

    Descriptions:-22

    Enjoyable:-16

    Post Count:-3

    Rule Breaks: 0

    @Tartan Owl Score: 1207


    Jade
    Personality:-20

    Story Progression:-8

    Combat Prowess:-2

    Descriptions:-20

    Enjoyable:-16

    Post Count:-3

    Rule Breaks: 0

    @Ziosa Score: 1207


    Feedback For Both: Not much to say. Even though you two managed to capture characters spirits well, length of story wasn't simply long enough for "emotional" investment.
    Well I really like your writing styles but dropping some kind of hook in the beginning Would have been awsome...That is all . This is my first review so sorry if I mess things up.

     
  3. Frayz

    Frayz

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    @Fanboy sins
    Score: 1676 (Non-canon)
    Personality: 17
    Story Progression: 18
    Combat Prowess: 0
    Description: 17
    Enjoyable: 16

    Post Count: 4
    Rule Breaks: 0

    Feedback: No fighting so I couldn't really judge the prowess. The story of celebrating your promotion and then immediately sparring to get even stronger was interesting enough to make me want to read more, I especially liked that squid part. Description and personality were also pretty good.
    @Otis
    Score: 1709 (Non-canon)
    Personality: 18
    Story Progression: 16
    Combat Prowess: 2
    Description: 16
    Enjoyable: 17

    Post Count: 4
    Rule Breaks: 0

    Feedback: Basically the same as Fanboy except I think you brought a little less story to the table. Overall though I thought your posts were more enjoyable due to your personality, it gave me a decent idea of what your character is all about. Also no fighting but you earn some points for the Rokushiki use toward the end.
     
  4. Hakipotence

    Hakipotence

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    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2018
  5. Frayz

    Frayz

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    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2018
    Roogy, Xatch, Tartan Owl and 5 others like this.
  6. Larsi

    Larsi

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  7. Larsi

    Larsi

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    Last edited: Dec 29, 2018
  8. Larsi

    Larsi

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  9. IceTimeXI

    IceTimeXI

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  10. Frayz

    Frayz

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    REVIEWED

    Name of fighters(name and level): @Frayzah @Tartan Owl @Prison Mike @Capt_NakedPanda @Emperor Cross @rominmusa @iNFERNAL @Endency @AL sama @Mirror D. Roogy (as Arlong Park NPCs) @Ruffles (as CP-9 Agents)
    Link to start of fight: https://orojackson.com/threads/arlong-park.49067/#post-3424277
    Link to end of fight: https://orojackson.com/threads/arlong-park.49067/page-3#post-3730204
    Extra info: Canon Island. Nezumi died. Civilians were evacuated. Arlong doesn't know why he is there anymore.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 4, 2019
  11. NeoRetro

    NeoRetro

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    Dean Winchester @Rohan Vs. Jimmy Frayzah @Frayzah
    Noncanon fight
    ---------------------------------------

    Sadly, there was not much to look at, there is a total of 5 posts so I tried to be very calculating when reading. I knew that both of you are great writers so I would have loved to award more points, but I had to asses by what I was given :catded:
    Dean Winchester

    Personality: 8

    - All I knew was that his name is Dean Winchester, and that he likes to fight. Dean felt really just like a general marine and even in his opening post there was nothing that would make him stand out. Why does he use invented weapons/gears? Is he attached to them? what does he notice about his surroundings? I know that there is more to Dean, but it was not expressed.

    Story Progression: 3

    - Basically Non-existent.

    Combat Prowess: 12

    - Combat had the most substance out of any, I did enjoy the part with the glove, I think that is a good idea, but the part where you throw swords. where are you pointing them? what is the background of these abilities? It felt a bit strange.

    Descriptions: 10

    - Descriptions were very basic, I know that Dean Winchester exists and that he is a marine, so all facts about him, his appearance, the way he thinks, I had to puzzle them together from previous One Piece knowledge, you sadly do not give much detail on background, surroundings or action. However I believe that this was mainly because you were quite busy.

    Enjoyable: 8

    - I know that there was not much to go by. The name Dean Winchester, as an inventor and marine. makes me imagine someone that I really want to know the story of. Sadly the fight did not go long enough to meet the expectation, that was build up by my excitement.

    Post Count: 2
    Rule Breaks: 0

    @Rohan Score: 475




    Jimmy Frayzah

    Personality: 19

    - I honestly like Jimmy, a typical marine "scumbag" eating his chips, and belittling his subordinates, believing that no one can take him down. Interestingly, he does not seem to be weak like the normal Marine, scumbag captain at ALL!
    Jimmy has some tricks up his sleeves, so while eating his chips and fulfilling his crave for FAT he is building all sorts of inventions.

    A unique and interesting character, that was expressed well in this battle. Especcially because there was not much space or time, you used up all spots to write about Jimmy, and what kind of person he is.

    Story: 8

    - There is not much, but the basis for story progression was found, I know that more was planned but that nothing I can work with.

    Combat Prowess: 17

    - Your Characters combat skills are well thought out, I like the admiral swordman style. I love it when they drop their coat and draw their katanas, while eating chips and being badass you know? SUGOI! Anyway I got distracted.. All your actions are good explained and perfectly within boundary of what your character is capable of doing. Only thing... Where exactly are you aiming your strikes at? They should have more purpose. What is the idea behind them? What are you attempting to actually cut? his head, fingers, legs? What is your attack causing to the surroundings, how strong is it really?

    Descriptions: 19

    - Great descriptions, I was quite immersed in my surroundings and never felt lost with the space and time of events. I have a clear image of what this base could be like, with their lackluster soldiers and some arrogant fat captain acting tough.

    Enjoyable: 18

    - Even though it was short, I enjoyed it. As I said in previous categories, I was immersed and things felt real, that is what makes storytelling and Rp'ing so good and enjoyable.
    I only wished that it would have been longer, I sensed great potential, like a flower that was picked right before it fully bloomed :(

    @Frayzah Score: 1598
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2018
  12. Stealth Black Sanji

    Stealth Black Sanji The Gambit Wanted

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  13. NeoRetro

    NeoRetro

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  14. Dabit

    Dabit

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  15. Larsi

    Larsi

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  16. CAPTAIN KHAN

    CAPTAIN KHAN

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  17. Dragomir

    Dragomir

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    @CAPTAIN KHAN
    Description: 10
    -You did an ok job of describing the scenery of the farmland but it could have been much better. Just describing what people were doing is not enough. You should have described what the sky was like, the weather, the smell in the farmland.

    -The overall setting you left me wondering what things looked like and that should not be the case. Describe the location of the buildings, where you were, how things looked like.

    -You also should have described what Pike looked like. There was absolutely nothing for me get an imagery out of besides just him being a fishman.

    Story Progression: 4
    -You didn't really do much in attempt to drive the story forward. Not that there's much to go off really with only 5 posts in the entire thread.

    Combat Prowess: 0
    -No fighting.

    Personality: 9
    -Wasn't really feeling it here. It was bland and you only just said what he felt. That's ok but should be better. Instead of just telling us, SHOW us. Jin was taken aback by the unknown fishman's bizarre introduction. Like here, you could add, Jin's head jerked backwards as he was taken aback by the fishman's bizarre intro. He frowned in confusion at was going on. Another example would be here Jin with annoyance written all over his face, could be like Jin's face twitched in his annoyance. His eyelids drooped halfway down his eyes as he grew tired of this man's presence, only going through with his plan to get rid of him sooner.

    Enjoyable: 4
    -Due to short posts, can't say I really enjoyed it. But, you tried a little with description and telling how your character felt, so because of that you don't get a zero
    Score: 840

    @Don Raijin
    Description: 6
    -Basically the same thing as Khan. Won't go much in depth here besides that you did a poorer job.

    Story Progression: 8
    -I give you a higher score here as you tried to get straight into it with the fighting, speeding things up.

    Combat Prowess: 0
    -Nothing here. Lunging is not enough.

    Personality: 5

    Enjoyability: 0
    Score: 625
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2018
  18. Frayz

    Frayz

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    @Hakipotence
    EXP gained: 4731
    Personality: 14
    Story Progression: 12
    Combat Prowess: 10
    Description: 15
    Enjoyable: 14

    Post Count: 12
    Rule Breaks: 0

    Comments: Overall pretty good in terms of enjoyability, I think you throwing him in the fight could of been an autohit so just say you're 'trying to' in the future. Your personality and description were lacking at the start but I saw a lot of improvement towards the end, I was going to point a few specific things out like not mentioning what type of weapon Sabertooth was but they were described later. The story telling was probably the best part in my opinion but it was cut short so I couldn't judge it higher, as well as that you hinted stuff from your back story and your dreams which was cool too.
    @Babylon
    EXP gained: 3526
    Personality: 10
    Story Progression: 11
    Combat Prowess: 9
    Description: 10
    Enjoyable: 14

    Post Count: 12
    Rule Breaks: 2

    Comments: Your posts were just as enjoyable, you broke the rules a lot though. There were a few cases of controlling your opponent, which should be avoided altogether even if you believe somebody will react a certain way. You also auto hit the opponent a few times, like I said to Hakipotence, just stick to 'attempting' or 'trying' to attack and you should be fine. There were also times where I thought you were overplaying your stats a little but that could just be me. You also need to buy cursed weapons from the store, might be okay in name only though. Descriptions/personality improved a bit through the fight but nothing major. There was an instance where you were just thinking about needing branches and then suddenly it was like "oh there's branches" just a simple sentence or two to explain things like this would do wonders. As for story telling, it was also your best aspect but was cut short too early.
     
  19. Fanboy sins

    Fanboy sins

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    @Tartan Owl
    Description: 12
    - I sense lack of passion here. Everything is too linear. We all know you can do way better.
    Story Progression: 12
    - Nice concept but without proper continuation it cant be rated higher.
    Combat Prowess: 0
    -Top 10 .I wish one piece had this kind of fights . That double spinning kick midd air was cool as fuck.

    Personality: 16
    - I could see your character through his actions.
    Enjoyable: 13
    -better than fallout 76 .
    country roads
    take me home
    to the place
    i belong
    west virginia
    mountain mama
    take me home
    country road

    Score: 903

    @Ruffles
    Description: 12
    - I sense lack of passion here. Everything is too linear. We all know you can do way better.
    Story Progression: 12
    - Nice concept but without proper continuation it cant be rated higher.
    Combat Prowess: 0
    -Top 10 .I wish one piece had this kind of fights . That double spinning kick midd air was cool as fuck.

    Personality: 16
    - I could see your character through his actions.
    Enjoyable: 13
    -
    Batman is a bit hollow in some respects, given the way this issue abruptly disposes of Dick Grayson immediately after the character suffered one of the worst tragedies in his long career. But as an examination of both Batman's rage and KGBeast's unique pathos, it hits the spot. This is another tightly plotted and well-executed collaboration between Tom King and Tony Daniel. But hopefully the focus will return to Nightwing and his plight before the end.

    Score:1325
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
    Roogy, CAPTAIN KHAN, Dragomir and 3 others like this.
  20. Roogy

    Roogy

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    @Guan_Yu
    Personality: 16
    Personality was good. Your interactions with your opponent were good.

    Story Progression: 15
    Story was alright. Bonus points for creating several unique NPCs.

    Combat Prowess: 14
    What fighting you had was good, but the fighting was overshadowed by the description.

    Descriptions: 16
    Mostly strong descriptions, apart from some areas where detail was unnecessary and out of place.

    Enjoyable: 16
    Despite some issues in your RP, it was overall very enjoyable.

    Rule Breaks: 1
    EXP: 9752

    @Xatch
    Personality: 18
    Personality was entertaining, and you had fun interactions with your opponent.

    Story Progression: 14
    Story was average up until the part with the Kraken. A welcome surprise that I did not expect.

    Combat Prowess: 16
    Creative use of your character’s skeletal form. Fighting was overshadowed by description.

    Descriptions: 18
    A good amount of detail in your posts.

    Enjoyable: 16
    Your character’s personality was entertaining, but the scenario made the fight less enjoyable.
    EXP: 10836
     
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